


DCU porn generator ficlets

by dysintegration (robokittens)



Category: DCU
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-08
Updated: 2012-03-08
Packaged: 2017-11-01 15:54:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 1,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/358625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robokittens/pseuds/dysintegration
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Once upon a time there existed a DCU porn generator. It generated. Here are some things! (These are SO OLD oh my god. There was an internet in 2005???)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Bruce Wayne and/or Vic Stone (Cyborg) ...have phone sex

It's not that he's a busybody, exactly, or that he doesn't believe the others have a right to call whoever they'd like to call on their own time. It's just that Gar's supposed to be an "adult" around here, and to be honest, he's not very good at doing "adult"-type things, but checking through the phone logs makes him feel responsible.

And bored. There is never, ever, anything exciting.

Which, to be honest, is a good thing. "Exciting" around here usually means "bad-guy attack," and no one wants that.

...That still begs the question of why Vic is placing two AM phone calls to Gotham. Gar's not sure quite who Vic *knows* in Gotham, especially someone who he'd be calling at two AM. It is, as far as Gar's concerned, quite suspicious.

So he presses the "play" button. And ... Oh. *Oh*. That's ... that's Batman's voice, isn't it? Okay, so, Vic's calling Batman at two in the morning, and ...

Gar has never been quite so disturbed in his life.

He wasn't even ... to be honest, he wasn't quite sure if Vic even *had* a sex drive anymore, if that had been lost along with his body, piecemeal, over the years. And he ... would really, really rather have not found out this way.

Because. Ew.


	2. Vic Stone (Cyborg) and/or Gar Logan ...make out in a car or other vehicle

It's actually kind of pleasant, in that surreal sort of way. It's a *nice* day out, and Vic's suggestion that they go out for ice cream didn't, at the time, seem to be very strange at all.

But in retrospect. In retrospect ...

In retrospect, fuck retrospect, because they're parked behind the Ben & Jerry's and Vic's mouth is fastened to his throat, and *oh*. Vic hand the foresight to stash his cup of ice cream in the cupholder, but Gar got a cone, and the hand that isn't clutching tightly at the shirt over Vic's back is sort of waving in the air, cone held high like some bizarre, pornographic Statue of Liberty.

At least the colour's about right. Gar chokes back a chuckle, and Vic makes a soft humming noise against his throat.

"Nothing," Gar whispers, and "Oh" as Vic takes the skin of Gar's neck between his teeth and bites down, hard.


	3. Tim Drake and/or Conner Kent ...experiment with bondage

"I can get out of this, you know," Tim says. It's the first thing he's said in about three minutes, since Kon reappeared with a length of rope and set about making the most complicated knot he could around Tim's hands and the headboard.

"You're out of practice," Kon says. His tongue's been poking out between his teeth, a look of determination on his face. Tim thinks it's cute. "And what are you? Houdini?"

"I can get out of this," he says again, and then, "And if you really wanted to restrain me, you're much stronger than I am. And you have the TK. That's much harder to get out of." Beat. "And would take much less time."

Kon ties off the knot in what Tim senses -- but can't quite crane his neck to see -- is a big bow.

"And would be much easier to explain to my parents," Tim points out.

This gives Kon pause. "Um," he says. "I could ... cover you with the blanket. They'd never notice."

"Oh sure," Tim says. "Good plan."


	4. Bruce Wayne and/or Cassandra Cain ...in a story where wrestling/sparring/fighting leads to sex

It's times like this that Bruce thinks that she doesn't really need any more training -- times like this, when Cassandra has him pinned to the mats for the second time in a half-hour. He's still *winning*, of course, but there's no denying that the girl is one of -- if not *the* -- best on his team.

"Batman," she says. It's quiet, but the sound of her voice is enough to startle him -- enough to make him realize that he hasn't moved since she pushed him to the mats. He rolls out from under her easily, and she sits up, crouched on her knees, head tilted, looking at him curiously.

The sweatpants she's wearing, he notices, aren't hers; they're too big, for one thing, and even cinched as tight as they go they ride very low on her hips, exposing the fragile line of her hipbones.

"Batman," she says again, and reaches out a hand. Her fingertips barely brush his cheek.

He catches her small fingers in his. "Batgirl," he says, and brings them to his lips.


	5. Stephanie Brown and/or Jason Todd ...are trapped in an enclosed space, which leads to sex

"This somehow isn't what I'd expected Heaven to look like," Steph cracks. She stretches her arms out over her head, fingers interlocked, and her palms brush the ceiling.

"It's not, always," says the boy in the corner. "It changes. You obviously want to be locked up."

"With *you*?" She raises an eyebrow. She's willing to believe that the situation changes to reflect what she's thinking: so far she's already cycled through the Spoiler costume, her Robin costume, and her current garb, her favourite old jeans and a soft grey T-shirt she's pretty sure she stole from Tim.

He shrugs, slowly. "I could see why I was on your mind."

Steph makes a face. "You, like ... set a bad example for me to follow." She drops to her knees and crawls over to where he's sitting, leans against the wall next to him, throwing an arm over his shoulder. "But it's okay," she says. "I don't, you know. Hold it against you."

He shifts, adjust to let her arm rest more comfortably between his neck and the wall. "Most people would," he says, after a moment.

"Well," she says simply, "I don't."


	6. Batman, Booster, sex pollen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (this one is technically not from the generator, but was assigned to me by cruel, cruel friends. nonetheless, it fits the basic genre, ergo its inclusion here.)

The first thing Booster thinks is, couldn't it have been _Ted_?

Well, actually, no. The fist thing Booster thinks is, couldn't it have been Fire? Or, Mary Marvel. Or preferably both. And not him. Not him would also be a bonus. But with him _watching_. Yes. Perfect.

But _after_ that, the first thing Booster thinks is, couldn't it have been _Ted_?

Because he knows how to deal with Ted being weird. And he and Ted? Sure, they've had their ups and downs, but ... okay, mostly downs, lately. But that's not the _point_. The point is ... the point is ...

Well, the point is, Batman is looking at him with an eerie intensity. And, well, it's _Batman_. He's almost always intense, and he's _always_ eerie. But now he's ... now he's, well, taking off the cowel. And it's not _unheard_ of, sure, but now he's walking closer, and now he's _definitely_ got Booster pinned against the wall.

"Um," Booster says. And a moment later, "Hi?" 

It comes out kind of squeaky, but it doesn't matter, because he made the mistake of opening his mouth, and Batman shoves his tongue down his throat.

"Um," Booster tries to say again, but Batman only takes this as _encouragement_.

So, okay. Maybe he'll just stop fighting. Maybe he'll just go with it, and Batman will stop on his own, whenever he's done doing ... whatever freaky Bat-thing he's doing. Which involves kissing Booster. Because Bats isn't, really, all that _bad_ a kisser, which is ... highly disturbing, actually.

And that's when Batman's hand works its way into his pants.


	7. Lex Luthor and/or Conner Kent ...is secretly a virgin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i feel like this one should have a warning for... something. dub-con? incest? i don't even know.

"I just want to be a father to you," he says.

Kon is having some trouble understanding how this is happening. How Lex-freakin'-Luthor just showed up on the Kents' doorstep, for one thing, and how Ma Kent not only let him in but fed him milk and pie while they waited for Kon to get home from school. And he's really, really not sure why Luthor is sitting next to him on his bed, when there's a perfectly-suitable desk chair just across the room.

"Um," Kon says, and winces.

"I realize I haven't been there for you," Luthor ("Call me Lex, Conner. Please.") says. "You understand that there are ... complications. This is a delicate situation we're in." His hand is on Kon's knee, in what's probably supposed to be a reassuring manner. It's not.

"Oh," Kon says, and "Of course." He has no idea what Luthor is talking about.

"But I've been doing a lot of thinking, over the past few years, and I think it's time for us to strengthen our bond."

What bond? Kon thinks. "Oh," he says again. Luthor's hand pats his knee, and slides a little higher.


	8. Jason Todd and/or Tim Drake ...have phone sex

The last thing part of his costume that Tim takes off is the communicator. Oracle's never called him out just as he was crawling into bed, but the point is it **could** happen, and Tim is nothing if not dedicated.

It's four AM. He's just taking the communicator out when it sputters and pops, and a voice comes over the line. "Robin?" it says.

It's not Oracle's voice. 

"Who is this?" He's slipped into a defensive posture without even realizing it, and forces himself to relax. There's nothing -- probably nothing -- the boy (and he's almost sure it's a boy) on the other end can do to him. But what if he's done something to Babs? Tim's mind is racing, going fully back into Robin mode. Should he -- no, there's no time to even put on his uniform; he'll slip on a mask and go as-is. If Babs is in trouble ...

"It's Jason," the voice says, and Tim freezes.

"Yeah, I know." Laugher crackles through the commline. "Crazy, huh?" Tim can almost see the grin stretched across a face he only knows from photographs. "I don't know how it happened, either."

Tim sits down heavily on the edge od his bed. How is this possible, is the only thing he can think to say, so he doesn't say anything. Because he has no doubts. This ... is Jason. He's never heard his voice, but for some reason he's **certain**.

"Are you coporeal?" he manages finally.

"I'm **in the computer** ," Jason says, and again Tim can hear the grin in his voice. "I had to talk to you. I had to know ... who took my job." And then, grudgingly, "You've done a good job."

"So did you," Tim says automatically. He shifts, and settles back against the headboard, threat averted.

"So," Jason says, and the grin is back in his voice again. "What are you wearing?"


End file.
